Learning to budget! Day 43
Aug 20, 2018
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9ePMfQFSf8

[Music]
good morning and welcome to Sunday we
are off to Walmart I'm gonna go and look
for some more material to make some more
of my colorful turbans especially
because I've been doing so many
compliments from them anyways yes my
kids are still having a rough morning
but I just want to check in with you
guys and I will see you guys in a little
bit at Walmart we just got to Walmart
and I'm just gonna check in and say
today I am using a cart because I'm
respecting the fact that my knee is
hurting today and I don't want to overdo
it but I am just being good and owning
up to what I'm doing good we are finally
[Music]
and it's been a good day actually I just
it seemed like I had so much planned for
this weekend and I feel like I literally
did accomplish quite a bit I feel like I
got a lot accomplished that needed to be
done just on various items not even you
know the whole decluttering and stuff
like that cuz I clearly didn't get that
stuff done but I did get we went to
Walmart today and I had did a whole
short film before I went into the store
that today my knee I woke up and I don't
know why but I woke up my knee was
really bothering me this morning and so
I took it easy pretty much today on this
sense that I just wasn't up on my knee
all day long but I got like some
paperwork accomplished and you know just
things that needed to be done that
requires me to sit in one still place
actually so it made it kind of nice and
convenient for today to have that time
to do that but I did make a little note
before going into Walmart that I was
gonna probably use a motor scooter
because my knee was really hurting and I
don't want to do anything that's gonna
set myself back and part of that is
respecting
my body and where my body is at this
time so I am NOT gonna sit and judge
myself you know at first I got in there
and I got in the cart and I was just I
was kind of you know I guess I was kind
of down on myself a little bit like I
was kind of referring back to that
embarrassment and our people staring at
me do I really need this motor scooter
what is it gonna do for me
and as I was going through the store I
was like you know what is it doing for
me it's allowing me to go into the store
do the things that I need to get done on
a day that I'm hurting and you know I
had to remind myself that just shortly
few weeks ago I depended on that scooter
100% like there would have been no
option had it be that I could not make
it without a scooter I would have not
been into the store at all
so that part I you know allowed myself
the mercy to say okay you know what
today I'm hurting I'm not feeling a
hundred percent with my knee so instead
of pushing myself and pushing my muscles
to where they're not at right now relax
that and be a little bit more lenient so
that way then I can let it rest and when
I do start doing more of my exercising
and or getting up tomorrow and doing
more movement I'm not gonna be as in
much pain because I catered to it today
before it got out of control so we went
to Walmart which I'll show you what I
got there and then I also came home and
I was just really tired and I think that
it really caught up to me just getting
up early every single morning staying up
later in the evening s4q me up a lot of
times during the night that I just kind
of caught up to me today and I came home
I didn't even talk to any of my family
members I snuck into the room I walked
my door
I laid on my bed and I was out I mean I
honestly don't even remember lay my head
down because that's how I was and I
suffer two and a half hours straight and
I didn't hear the kids yelling screaming
I mean in my kids play and I didn't even
hear it like I though I did wake up to
them eventually but dad took over and
that was nice I needed it and so when I
came out of the bedroom I felt so
refreshed and just I felt like so much
lifted off of me but here's the catch I
don't lay on a bed because of my back
because of my sciatic nerve well I
thought today I would just try it and
see how it was gonna work yeah getting
out of the bed after two and a half
hours of laying flat without moving
because I was in such a deep sleep well
I could barely walk down because of my
sciatic nerve I got up and I'm like oh
so yeah this um this 37 year old back is
feels like it's like 90 that's all right
mmm we'll get there
so I had laid on the Ottoman and Ollie
had pushed on it a little bit and just
kind of moved my muscles around a little
bit and pushed on my spine and twisted
me around a little bit and I got a
couple good pops out of it and so it's
feeling a little better it's still it's
still tight but it's more tight up in my
upper like between my shoulder blades
almost and but I did give the both
babies a bath tonight let's see he made
me dinner which I just had a salad and
again I could only have the salad he
made I'm like baby please oh I'm not
eating as much he's like I'm just I'm so
sorry I'm like no I just you know I hate
throwing food out and so huh anyways but
it was a very good day today I mean I
got a good nap that's what I got and I
needed it so I guess that's a good thing
so anywho I wanted to show you guys what
I picked up from
Walmart I did pick up Jeremiah I we
didn't do school shopping for like his
back to school supplies yet we're
waiting I know we're like honestly were
the worst for cross inators ever we do
this every year and I swear every year
we're gonna I say we're gonna do his
school shopping like as soon as the
school stuff comes out and we're not
gonna wait till the last minute and here
we are again we haven't even done school
shopping like we haven't done clothes
shopping the most that we've gotten so
far is his shoes his backpack and like
three or four outfits but we haven't
gotten everything else so I told him I
said I'm sorry but um you I think I
think they start school September 5th so
I mean we have a few like what two weeks
something like that yeah something like
that anyways we have plenty of time to
get that done so but we did get him his
socks and underwear today which he told
me I'm not allowed to show him show it
on camera he's like mom you're not
showing my underwear on camera I'm like
okay I'm like but it's a shopping haul
he's like no no no we don't do shopping
holes with my underwears I'm like but is
that cool he's like no I'm like alright
but I did want to show you I picked up a
couple more of some face masks um two of
them are from seventh heaven so I got
that one I personally have never ever
ever ever ever used face masks like I
never have but I want to try them and
just see how they work I've been doing a
night routine every night along with
this one's free man hydrating cactus and
cloudberry water gel mask intensively
refreshes brightens and nourishes skin
so I'm gonna try those not tonight but
I'll try it but I wanted to show you I
picked up a couple of those so I'll let
you know how those go um I might be able
to actually just do one on video for you
guys be kind of fun wouldn't it and then
I also have this I'm gonna do - I didn't
get this today but I got this from I
think I bought it from Amazon if I'm not
mistaken so that's another fun one that
I can do with you guys but I've been
putting my vino daily moisturizing
lotion on every day and I've been using
I think I showed you guys this the other
day but I've been using the makeup
cleansing wipes but I use these and I
wipe my face down from like my mascara
and lip gloss and stuff like that and
then I wash my face with soap and water
and then I come in here or actually and
then I brush my teeth with black
charcoal that's really fun actually I
might leave this on tonight and I might
actually do that with you guys
we'll see anywho so back to what I else
I got so the turbans that I've been
wearing I have like multiple colors
obviously you guys have our thing seen
pretty much all my colors I've got like
green and yellow and blue or turquoise
purple every color the link colors that
I lacked on was white I don't have a
white I don't have a gray and so I told
her like I said can we go look in the
fabric department because I looked up
scarfs and I'm really nervous to order
scarfs because mm I don't think I can
show it to you
I need like that more stretch your
material and I don't know what the
stretchy material is so I'm afraid like
if I put in a certain like material it's
it gonna come as being the wrong
material that I'm looking for so I went
ahead and I looked at the fabric
department and I found a couple I'm
really excited just to try and see if
they work so the first one I picked up
was this
it's just white it's kind of sheer but I
figure with me folding it it will
probably I mean it will thicken up some
and it's got a good stretch to it so I
went ahead and picked up that one I
think I'm gonna have to probably cut it
into the size that it's gonna have to be
because I took this this is what they
actually look like it was originally I
bought these from Walmart and they were
I think they're called infinity infinity
scarves the ones that don't have any
like they're not open they're a circle
and then you could wrap it well anyways
this is when I had very first converted
I didn't know much about scarves I
didn't know much about his jobs I didn't
know much about any of it so even those
don't have much of a stretch on that
side so anyways this is what that begun
they begin with and then you just wrap
it up well she did the she did 13 inch
because these are 13 inches so she
measured 13 inches but I think they're
gonna be like wide I don't know we're
gonna find out um the kids started
getting really cranky when we were doing
that part because they were really good
while I was picking out the fabric but
the lady took like almost 15 minutes to
put the little sticker on the fabric and
I'm like oh my god lady like come on
please like this is like the worst time
for your machine until I cannot work
because my kids are going to lose it and
then we're gonna have a complete fitment
oh right here they'll let it out so she
got it done though then I picked up a
gray because of course I said I didn't
have gray so I'm hoping that
I'm hoping that again this will work
really hoping I'll do some measurements
and cutting and stuff if need be and
then the last one that I got for now is
I got this material so it's kind of like
a zebra but like I was telling ollie
like today instead of wearing the black
on black I could have done either the
gray and black because of the great
whoops the gray or I could have done the
white or technically I could have even
done this color because it would still
have gone in with all my other colors so
I just want to kind of play around with
colors and see what I can come up with
and then so anyways but other than that
that was pretty much the day we didn't
like I say do too much because I kind of
took it easy with my late tonight and
then what else and then went to Walmart
and that was pretty much it we didn't
really do a lot and then I did tons of
paperwork which I ain't recording me
about cuz whoo well I'm not gonna say
who doesn't enjoy paperwork cuz I do I
could sit and do paperwork all day I
should actually have gotten a job in
like an office somewhere doing nothing
but paperwork because that is like my
thing I can sit and do paperwork all day
every day and I would never get tired of
it
but anyways so I'm sorry today kind of
stinks it wasn't that big of a wasn't a
very vague video but I mean everything
went good though so I mean that's a good
thing and I appreciate all of your
guys's an encouragement and supportive
words about me losing only the three
pounds I mean I could get really hard on
myself I could but I'm not gonna let
myself because three pounds was three
pounds so I mean if I look at it and now
it's I mean honestly there's nothing to
beat myself up about because there's
nothing I've done wrong so I mean in
that aspect there's seriously nothing
more than I could do you know because
like somebody said slow and steady and
that's exactly it is you know I mean I
did set out and say that I wanted to
lose 150 pounds in foot ninety days but
realistically I don't think that that's
even realistic I mean excuse me hold on
I'm gonna I'm gonna back phrase that it
can happen but my body is going through
different phases so I don't think that
150 pounds is really now I could talk to
you guys I don't think that it was
realistic in my place in my life because
of everything else that I was also
changing it wasn't just you know I mean
I am changing my health and I am
changing like what I'm eating and things
like that I mean yes I am eating iron
changing those things but I'm not just
changing those things I'm also going
through so many other transformations
which would be you know the mental
health and the physical health emotional
health and everything else health you
know and today at Walmart I kind of fell
back into a little bit of my old ways
and it was unfortunate you know I
allowed myself to start feeling guilty
for buying the fabric and I started
playing games in my mind of always upset
he doesn't want me to buy these things
and you know the kids started getting
grumpy so now you know it's my fault
because I'm being selfish and trying to
get something you know that I needed and
I made this big scenario in my mind and
I immediately allowed that to transfer
over to me and Ali's actions of that day
of today earlier and he was just
confused like I mean I was in such a
good mood five minutes ago so
where in the world did I just get like
so upset and he was honestly confused
like he is just like what's going on and
he went to Costco and ran in and had to
get ink for the printer and I stay in
the car with the kids because I just was
like I am not in the mood to deal with
the kids in Costco today like I am just
not having it so I went ahead and I
stayed in the car with them and so when
I came home after you know he went to
Costco and stuff I came home and that's
why I went into the room quietly and
just wanted took a nap and so while I
was laying there before I fell asleep or
after I fell so I don't even know when
it was I really got thinking about the
situation at Walmart and I asked myself
like why was I feeling that way why was
I getting so why was I getting so
emotionally invested in something that
was so negative that wasn't even
happening and I really think that you
know we have such big dreams mean only
do for our future and both of us come
from you know places where we've had to
pretty much work for everything that we
have you know we haven't had everything
handed to us and everything that we have
today is things that we've done by
ourselves
and I'm not trying to say that you know
you're wrong if you have family that
help or you know people that can help
you I mean those things are amazing and
I mean those are that's awesome
but in our circumstances we don't have
that option and we do have to work for
everything that we have and we have high
dreams and high hopes and we want to
make our dreams and hopes into reality
and one of those is really learning how
to take seriousness the saving of money
and budgeting and you know choosing when
it's the right time to buy things and
when it's not the right time to buy
things and what's appropriate to buy and
what's really not appropriate to buy and
I guess I just you know I know where we
are
[Music]
mindfully I know where we're at but
sometimes I allow my wants to become
more of a need at that time and so you
know I after I laid in bed today and I
was really thinking about I was like you
know I'm wrong for the way that I
treated him because first of all he
wasn't being negative about me buying my
fabric he never said no in fact he was
the one that said yes let's go
so it had nothing to do with that and
yeah the kids did get grumpy but that
wasn't because of me and that was just
because the kids were being grumpy and
just wanting to get out of the carts and
go home or you know the carts and run I
don't know which one it was and so I but
I find myself doing that a lot I find
myself not now so much as I did before I
would place you know I would play
stories in my mind and think that that's
what it was or that's what was gonna
happen and I would bring that into my
real life of things that I stood up in
my mind and I wasn't even the reality of
the situation that was going on so after
I woke up from my nap I came out and I
talked to him and I apologized I said
you know I'm really sorry for the way
that I reacted in Walmart and on the way
home you know I shouldn't have acted the
way that I did I guess you know because
I just for some reason allowed myself to
come up with this grand scheme of a
story in my brain that I thought that
you were you know affected by me buying
the fabric and stuff and you know and he
he deals so well with me when it comes
to stuff like that and he was able just
to you know bring me back down and it
was just like you know it's okay it's
you know we're all human we all have our
days that we have those things and
there's nothing wrong with that but you
know he was really good about explaining
you know why why he makes sure to ask is
it something that we need right now like
I had you know I had a pair of slippers
in the car and there are whole areas I
died when I seen him I was by myself I
don't even know where they disappear
gonna
underwears for Maya and I drove by the
slipper section and there was slippers
they're like slipper slippers but they
were tennis shoe slippers and they light
up on the sides I died when I seen him
cuz they look like tennis shoes like
literally look like tennis shoes but
they're slippers and I just croaked when
I seen him so I picked him up and I
brought him over and I was gonna you
know and I showed ollie and he laughter
you know and stuff and then I put him in
my cart cuz I was gonna go and put him
back and so he had asked me oh are you
gonna get those wool when he asked me
that I took it very offensive and I
don't know why like there was nothing he
didn't ask me in a way of like are you
getting those like you know it was
nothing like that it was just the way
that I interpreted it instead of saying
wool no why would you ask like that or
whatever the circumstances I was feeling
at that moment I just decided to take
that personal and play with it and make
a big old story out of something that
was not even really there you know it's
not about you wanting slippers it's not
about that it's do you need the slippers
right now I mean in reality no I have I
have two pairs of bear paws and I have
oh my gosh I can't even think of the
name of the brand Bearpaw and the other
one the other boot but they're slippers
because I can't wear the boots cuz my
legs are too big well they probably
aren't now this year but they were last
year um anyways so I have wonderful
beautiful slippers to use so it was just
the fact base you know and he was just
like that's why I asked you know is it
something you really need right now I
mean if it is then let's get it but if
it's not and it's just something that
you're gonna buy and put in the back of
the closet like multiple other things
that we all do why not take that you
know twelve dollars and put it towards
something else or put that twelve
dollars aside and you know as he really
talked to me it really made a lot of
sense and you know again like I said we
have a lot of dreams and things that we
want to do in life and we don't have
people to pay our way we don't have
people to you know give us the
and so we have to make sure that we are
budgeting and being very responsible for
our actions when we're spending so that
way when it does come time to make the
moves that we want to in life we can do
them and be fully covered and know that
we did it all the right way rather than
be struggling all our life so you know
it it just I think it's just all such a
learning process for me and you know
when he said it he said it today he said
I just kind of seen you slipping back
today just revisiting a little bit of
your old ways and he's like Amy you're
not that person anymore he's like you
are not that Amy before no more and I
want to encourage you to continue you
know you're very new and fresh into this
new beginning that you've started and
you have become such an amazing person
inside and out but I I get scared when I
see you slip like that because those are
really dark days for you and I don't
want you to go back to those and I was
like you're right like seriously you are
a hundred percent right so we talked
about it and it was good and we you know
when me and Ollie ever have a
disagreement or an argument or anything
we're very quick to squash it like we do
not carry our arguments out for days or
even hours it just doesn't happen here
if we have a disagreement you know we
will break away for a little bit and let
each other calm down you know because
that's healthy sometimes you can't you
know you can't fix the situation if both
parties are or even one party is upset
or you know aggravated or anything
because you're not gonna get anywhere
but if you guys break away and let it
calm down and cool off and then come
back to it 9 out of 10 you're gonna be
able to figure it out and that's how we
have always dealt with our marriage is
you know and that's why I think I came
in the room and just came and took it up
because I know I'm exhausted
and I mean very extra sensitive I think
my body is preparing for its visit and I
just think all in all is just I've been
very emotional lately and you know it
comes to also the fact that my dad's
birthday is coming up
Timber 19th and it's always a really
rough time for me and so it's just
something that you know it all just kind
of gathers together so he is very
compassionate with me though and he is
so understanding and so patient and I
appreciate that about him so much
because there's many times that you know
I could have seen him getting so upset
and he doesn't he just allows me to go
through the motion that I need to go
through and he always comes back and
reassures me that he loves me and he
doesn't care and that you know where
it's just a hiccup and we're gonna get
up and move on and that's exactly what
we do and we hugged each other and that
was it that was the done deal and I left
with more understanding of his thoughts
you know and that makes a big difference
too because I'm able to say Wow okay you
know what my husband's really working
hard on trying to better our lives and I
respect that from him and I respect how
hard he's working to make those dreams
come possible for me because these are
my dreams that I want and his dream is
to make my dreams come true and but we
can't do that if we're being
irresponsible with things that were
spending money on so it was a little bit
of a emotional day I guess you would say
but all in all like I said it was a good
day though we were able to enjoy the
rest of our afternoon we had a nice
dinner together and that was it you know
it was just nice it was really nice so I
just want to thank everybody again for
sticking around on my videos and
watching and joining and being a part of
my life and my family's life and you all
are what makes it worth coming back
every single day and making these videos
for you guys and I honestly see nothing
but positive in here and that's such an
amazing feeling and like I said there's
once once or twice I'll see a little
comment and it's just like I love ya I
love ya and I move on no time to waste
there but anyways I think I'm gonna
bypass on
videoing my TV TV because I'm teething
doing my charcoal brushing and I think
that's because I'll do it in the front
bathroom tomorrow night and I can
videotape it there just because I think
the kids are getting tired so I'm gonna
go in there and do it really quick and
wash my face and stuff and finish up for
the mat but I hope you guys had amazing
day today and that would have completed
a whole weekend and hopefully tomorrow
will be a lot better for everybody
I have counseling tomorrow morning so I
will check in early in the morning when
I am sitting waiting to go in I will
talk to you guys tomorrow bye
[Music]
